Be curious
Sometimes as you’re helping a couple through their managed mini-conversations, especially with the easier topics, things go so easily as to make the exercise seem unnecessary. Their written responses to […]
Don’t settle for “Fine”
When you send a couple home to have their own conversations, you always check in with them at the next appointment. The reason, of course, is to find out where, […]
Encourage them in what works
As we’ve said in the book, the point of the preparation process is not to enforce rules that must be observed in every conversation, but to help couples communicate more […]
Help them empathize with each other’s stress
One of the first exercises you do with couples is to teach them “constructive communication.” And before you get to the principles of listening and speaking, you will be teaching them […]
Keep positive goals in front of them
One of the most enjoyable aspects of doing premarital preparation is the opportunity to work with couples before negative patterns and bad habits become set in stone. There may be […]
Listen for concerns beneath the questions
In the second mini-conversation between the couple, you are asking them to take turns expressing to each other the questions they had after reading each other’s responses on a particular […]
Go with the flow
In Preparing Couples, we’ve given you a detailed but flexible structure for coaching couples through mini-conversations about things that matter. Sometimes, the conversation might stray; they start with one topic […]
Keep the conversation between them
Here’s a common scenario. You’re coaching a couple through a conversation. At one point, you make a comment, say, to the bride-to-be, ask her a question. Naturally, she responds to you […]
Encourage the habit of appreciation
Helping a couple develop positive relationship habits will make the marriage stronger and more resilient. Encouraging them to express appreciation to each other is a good example. Here’s one way […]
Preparing Couples for Love and Marriage 